Month: November 2019

Caregiver’s Log, Day 985

7:30 pm        Pretend to watch football game with husband on new, yet-unchewed sectional you bought last week because you both know he’s pretty much housebound for at least another month, maybe two, thinking: Football season? When did that happen?

8:00 pm       Take dogs for evening walk. As you walk past neighbor’s house, suddenly realize you haven’t fed Greta. Worry you’re a bad petsitter. Shove dogs in neighbor’s backyard while you make Greta’s supper. Extricate your 70-pound Lab from being stuck in Chihuahua-sized dog door and your Shepherd from neighbor’s pool.

9:00 pm       Prepare and administer Round Three of infusions. Help husband into bed, grateful he feels good enough to sleep in bed instead of the recliner. Ask the Universe to help you make it through another day.

9:30 pm       Blow off shower. Send four laughing-crying emojis to friend who texted you six hours ago: “Aren’t you glad you don’t have to work anymore???” thinking: It’s a different kind of work.

Last in a Series of 7. Read the rest here

Caregiver’s Log, Day 985

4:00 pm       Answer phone call from caretaker of your mother’s house, which is supposed to be your New England summer getaway when you aren’t needed by a father who’s fallen down the steepest front steps this side of Mount Everest or a husband who finally pushes his degenerative, bone-on-bone hip to a level catastrophic enough to cause a septic infection. Agree with caretaker that he might as well close the house for winter.

4:30 pm       Notice the protein shake you made for breakfast is still sitting in blender eight hours later. Dump congealed mass of bananas, peanut butter and protein powder down the sink.

Discover that dog kibble bin is completely empty. Psych yourself up for rush hour trek to Costco and the impatient ramming of shopping carts up your ass. Realize that scraping sound is your brakes as you almost run a red light. Pass the Playa Club where you used to drink. Look the other way.

6:30 pm       Return with roast chicken large enough to feed the block, but no shower gel. Make dinner for husband and feed animals. Fill empty water bowls after husband reminds you. Worry you’re a bad pet parent. Google: “metal to metal brakes.” Promise yourself tomorrow you’ll find time to get to a meeting.

6th in a Series of 7. Read the rest here

Caregiver’s Log, Day 985. Still.

Noon             Visit with old friend who drops by with strings for your husband’s guitar, which he’s been too depressed to play for the month he’s been cooped up in the house. Offer Diet Coke or water, realizing you desperately need to go shopping.

1:00 pm        Prepare and administer Round Two of IV infusions. Nod and smile when your husband says: “This better fucking work.” Stare at photo of the two of you in tux and gown at the Maui Top Performer Sales Conference, thinking: Really? That was just five years ago?

1:30 pm        Pay monthly bills for your mother, your father, yourself, your husband and yourself. Smile at guitar strains of “Sweet Baby James” emanating from den.

2:00pm        Debate workout or shower. Vacuum entire house instead.

3:00 pm       Lie on couch beneath fan in puddle of sweat and immediately fall into fifteen minutes of bliss-filled sleep.

3:15 pm        Assist husband with daily strength-building exercises because he’s fired the physical therapists; after all, he’s a fitness coach and sure as shit doesn’t need someone telling him what to do. Task him with getting his own beverage and when he returns, soda can in hand, tell him: “No lie, that walker’s history in a week,” and really mean it.

5th in a Series of 7. Read the rest here